A bit presumptuous isn’t it? Calling yourselves ‘Good Dads’? Well, maybe it is a tad provocative or uncomfortable for some.
I’d always wanted to be a dad (though I wouldn’t have dared admit it in my adolescence). I didn’t ever expect to be in a stable relationship, let alone married, so being a dad felt totally out of reach for a long time.
My parents divorced when I was 10 and that huge upheaval in our family life (together with other stresses) left me not knowing where to turn.
I quickly started to resent marriage and, seeing other families torn apart by divorce, I felt like ‘family’ could only be a destructive thing.
hope started to creep into my narrow perspective
Then, when I was about 19 I got to know some families who challenged those assumptions. I saw them muddling through the highs and lows of life with love and affection for one another. And slowly but surely, hope started to creep into my narrow perspective. By the time I met my wife, it seemed like it could actually happen for me too. The turnaround felt nothing short of miraculous.
We got married in 2008 and, 3 sons later, I feel so grateful for the transformation in my life. I love fatherhood and I love seeing others embrace it – whether that be with; their own kids, their partner’s or extended family / friends.
I certainly do NOT feel like a good dad 100% of the time
There’s something beautiful about seeing men care, nurture and protect, whether they’re simply looking out for other people or taking responsibility in their kids’ lives. I think taking this kind of ‘fatherly responsibility’ can be really redemptive, I know it has been in my life.
I certainly do NOT feel like a good dad (or husband) 100% of the time! So, there is an inherent challenge and irony in starting a site called ‘Good Dads’.. But I think it’s something every man hopes for if they become a dad and I reckon it’s an admirable goal.
When I searched online for encouragement with all of this I’ve found some amazing sites and resources but the vast majority were American and somewhat niche.
Hopefully Good Dads can encourage men of all ages, single or married, whether or not they have kids and provide a space for us to cheer each other on.
I want to learn together with other guys and for us to help each other, not being preachy or prescriptive. And, it’s early days, but I really don’t want this site to be all about me and my views. I want to learn from others and for what we share to be accessible and helpful for all.
So, what do you think? Could you write something for Good Dads or have you got a photo you’d like to share?
We’d love to hear from you, DM us via social media or email firstname.lastname@example.org
By Si Cook
Photo credit: Phil Ford